The Shattered Mind
by JoeCoolNerd
Summary: One child grows up, his past buried deep. But what if it surfaced. What if they knew? What would happen? Warning: Child abuse, drugs, and all that kind of stuff...
1. Colors

**Chapter 1: Colors**

A/N:

This is my first try at Fanfiction so please be patient if it isn't good. I have some good ideas for Fanfiction stories but I can't in a way "verbalise them" so I try my best. Thank you for reading. Sorry for the Americanisms if any appear throughout the story.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock and am not making any profit by publishing this. If I did, it would definitely be more angsty and there would be more episodes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

_I lie on the ground, snowflakes are falling. Gliding down. Voices shout. Snowflakes so pure, so white unlike me. I watch you fall, I watch you dance as you come towards the ground where dreams are shattered. So carefree you are gliding down. Voices come closer. Voices that sound worried. But I don't care. I just watch as you glide and land on my hand. You pause a moment. I marvel and your beauty, the contrast of your whiteness to my red. You are so white and I am so red. My red of sin and pain that never really goes away. You're the white of happiness and joy. The white of bliss and being young. The way I used to be. You turn slightly pink as you lose you innocence. Like I lost mine so long ago._

_You melt away and become a memory, leaving nothing but a blissful reminder of the faded pureness. Pureness that is gone. The world starts to fade into black. The voices are fading away as the black the offers peaces and tranquility. The one that can take all the pain away. The black that people fear but I welcome, just this once. I slip away into it. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

Read and Rate Please! I won't update until I get One Update for Chapter 1. I will do this for every part of the story I add-one Review for Chapter 1, two for Chapter Two, three for Chapter 3 etc. Thanks m8. : )


	2. Falling

**Chapter 2: Falling**

A/N:

Thanks to all those who reviewed once again. I am really grateful. Sorry if I confused you before. That chapter is being held back until I get it all sorted out again and re-edited. So, until I finish fixing it up we'll have to with the flashbacks. Sorry.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock neither BBC's nor Sir Author Doyle's and am not making any profit by publishing this.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

_I wake in a room that is different and new. There is nothing here I recognize; blue walls with childish decorations There is a dresser to the side and a pole; no, poles. There various different poles and machines around me. I look at them and notice that each one has different liquids coming out of them there are scribbles on the bags. I follow to where the poles lead and I am shocked to discover they lead me. Hastily, I try to get up, tossing my legs over the edge of the bed and the many wires trip me causing me to fall._

_A searing pain climbs up my leg. Mt chest is burning, stinging and raging. My arm, apparently bandaged, makes a sick cracking sound. The room is now swirling dangerously and I fall._

_I am falling. The pain that sears my body paints white stripes in my blackness. Black and white-the two contrasts that are forever fighting. The black is of sin and white is of pureness. Black that I fall endlessly in and white that burns and sears me. Black and white. Ice and Fire. Love and Hate. I close my eyes and let the colors mix. The black and the white are soaring by me as I fall deeper into this endless pit. I fall deeper and deeper away from this numbing pain inside and out of me. I slowly stop falling and there is nothing but black the lack that lured before has come and sleep once more._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

R&R! I promise to update ASAP.

ument here...


	3. Names

**Chapter 3: Names**

A/N:

The Muse left me for a bit so sorry for the delay and all the confusions caused by the chapter removals. I hope I make up for the delays and confusion by this chapter. Anyway this is my best work for now since I don't have beta reader yet. Keyword yet. So enough with the Author Note on with the story:

_**Italics are flashbacks**_** and regular is normal time.**

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock neither BBC's nor Sir Author Doyle's and am not making any profit by publishing this.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

-In a hospital room-

"Sherlock?"

"You need to rest."

"No," he replies his curls shaking. The dark bags are under his eyes clearly showing his lack of sleep and his already pale skin is unbelievably paler. "Not until he wakes up."

A sigh escapes the older man lips he runs his hands through his hair, "Listen, I know you're worried about him but not taking care of yourself isn't going to help at all." He pauses and notices the stubborn set in his jaw as he stares at the hospital bed. The man in the bed is covered by so many tubes it is hard to see him in it. His face lacks its usual expression. His hair once cut in his military style has grown out in a shaggy style and is slightly covered by bandage on his head.

"If I keep watch on him, will you go get some food?" He notices the other man's hesitance. "It's been days since you last ate Sherlock."

He glares at the older man and get up. "If you insist Lestrade, but if he wakes I want you to send a text to me immediately." Contented by the older man's nod he leaves the door his coat flying as he runs down the hall towards the cafeteria. As he takes a seat, he leans in towards John bed and says almost sin prayer, "John. I don't know if you can hear but please wake up soon. Please. Sherlock needs you. Please," he voice cracks as his says these words, pleading to the man in the bed to wake soon.

OoOoOoOoO

_I open my eyes carefully. They are bit unfocused as I look around. It's the same blue walls as before. A window is on my right and outside I see the white snow and some bare trees. I try to sit up but repent the second I do. A sharp pain explodes in my chest. I inhale sharply and look down. Someone dressed in me in a white shirt. I lift it up, tenderly to see that my chest is wrapped in bandages. I poke at them trying to find an end to pick so I can see what happened when a lady walks into my "room"._

"_You mustn't do that now honey. It will take longer for them to heal." She says leaving in front of me a plate of food._

_My eyes widen as I stare at the egg she gave me. It's like a normal egg except its hard and I lift it up and drop it on the tray. It lands with a crack frightening the chattering lady. I stare it poking it with a spoon. She laughs and shakes her head at me. I look at her completely puzzled. _

"_You haven't had a hard boiled egg before have you?" She asks me._

_A hard-boiled egg? Is that what this strange egg is? I puck up the egg with my hand and hold it up to her. _

_She nods her head and says," Yes. That's a hard boiled egg." She chuckles a bit as she sits down next to me. _

"_My name is Isabella. What's your name young man?"_

_I open my mouth to reply but promptly shut it remembering that it would be useless to try and tell her. She looks at me and moves a lock of my blonde hair for my face. I flinch at her touch._

"_What's the matter honey?"_

_I say nothing and slowly push my knees up to my chest and hiss at the pain the movement gave me through my clenched teeth._

"_Oh" she says looking at me. "You can't talk can you?"_

_I shake my head slowly. Talking was out of the question. Anyway, if I could talk that would only lead to trouble. BIG trouble. I sigh and look out the window. My eyes become heavy once more and I sleep again. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

R&R! I promise to update ASAP. Also, if you get notifications about the story and notice nothing is added just know it is me editing the story via your requests and if there is a real big drastic change I will tell you! And yes I did my research mute people can hiss, sigh, and grunt-these actions don't require vocal cord use. Love!

2


	4. Adoption

**Chapter 4: Adoption**

A/N:

_Italics are flashbacks _and regular is normal time.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock neither BBC's nor Sir Author Doyle's and am not making any profit by publishing this.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

_I step out of the cab and pay the fare. The sign on top of the run down building reads 'Carrington's Orphanage'. Yes, this is the right place I think to myself. As I walk into the courtyard I see children of all ages playing. Some are playing hopscotch and others are playing marbles. Before I get a chance to see more a young, plump woman makes her way towards me. I smile as she comes towards me. _

"_Hello. Welcome to Carrington's Orphanage. Let me guess dear you're here to adopt one of our kids/"she says smiling. _

_I nod my head smiling and look around at the courtyard. I frown as I notice a small child on at the swings. He has blonde hair peeking though the bandages but before I can get a chance to see more, Isabella, as she tells me, takes me away chatting up a storm leaving me but to wonder about that small boy._

OoOoOoOoO

-In a hospital room-

"Mycroft." He says stiffly as he sits down in the hospital chair.

"Guess I can leave now. You two have a nice chat now."

"Really, Lestrade. Me and _Mycroft_ chat?" Sherlock says irritation and detest in his voice. Lestrade grabs his coat with a huff and leaves the room. I stand there and wait. Poor John. Always following my little brother around and look where it got him. All wired up and covered in tubes like that hard to tell where he is in that mess. Broken arm, fracture in the skull, likely concussion…

"Mycroft, do please tell you are not to deduce how John is doing." Sherlock interrupts.

I glare at him and find him slowly munching on a sandwich? Ah, Lestrade made him eat. I cough, unsure what to say. Conversations between me and Sherlock are so…well complicated. "How's John." I ask.

Sherlock rolls his eyes at me, "Obviously not well. Look at him Mycroft! You don't have to a genius to notice his not well! Look at all those wires and tubes and thing! Look!" he says waving his arms at John.

I sigh. My mobile beeps and I frown. "Excuse me a moment Sherlock."

He sighs and I open the message.

-Blocked Number-

_Sorry. The Russians and Chinese are at it again. They won't settle down. You mind coming? _

"Problems with the government again, Mycroft?" Sherlock asks.

I nod stiffly and grab my umbrella walking out of the room.

"Send me a message if anything changes Sherlock."

"You already all the staff on that job Mycroft." I hear him mutter.

OoOoOoOoO

"_Right then, we have all the paperwork ready now dear. You can go into the courtyard and see if any of the youngsters stick out to you!" she says. "If you see any one who you want to meet just tell me."_

_I step out of the office and back into courtyard. Some of the kids turn and stare at me before going back to their games. I look around trying to find the little blonde-haired boy. I find him again leaning against the wall. _

"_Hello there." I say to him._

_He scoots away from me. I kneel down so that I am more or less next to him. "My name is Alice Watson and what's yours?" he stares at me. One of his blonde locks falls in front of his face. I push it back and he flinches from my touch. His eyes are a clouded blue and he stares at me. _

"_Well then would like to come home with me?" I ask. He just stares at me not comprehending. "You just stay right there now hear?" He nods his head and curls up into his knees. I stand up and look around for Isabella. I find here at the edge of the patio, walking way. _

_I hurry up towards her and shout,"Isabella!"_

_She stops and looks at me. "Oh, you found one already?" she asks._

_I smile and say "Yes, him."_

_She looks puzzled and I point out to the little blonde haired boy. "The one with the brown hair, Tommy?"_

_I shake my head and say," No, not Tommy. The blonde one over by the brick wall."_

"_Oh, him." She says biting her lip. _

_I frown. "And what's wrong with me wanting to adopt him?" I ask truly puzzled._

"_Well you see," she says her voice turning into a hushed whisper, "Ever since we found him he hasn't said a word, not a single word. We had a doctor come by and check his throat but he said that he was all right, not a thing wrong with his throat."_

_I look at her. "So?"_

"_That's not at all. You see when we found he was all beaten up and broken. Seems like his previous…parents were of the abusing kind. He's not right in his head either. Won't play with the other kids. Doesn't know how to read or nothing. We don't even know how old he is! We went to look up for his birth certificate, lost kids ads, everything we tried and there's not a thing on him. Not a single word. I-"_

"_I'll take him." I say interrupting. _

_She looks at me, "Are you sure?"_

"_Yes. I'm certain." I say firmly. _

"_Well then we need a name for him." She says._

"_John. John Hamish Watson."_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

R&R!

2


	5. Harry

**Chapter 5: Harry**

A/N:

_Italics are flashbacks _and this is normal time.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock neither BBC's nor Sir Author Doyle's and am not making any profit by publishing this.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

"No!"

But you need to go. He hasn't woken nor moved in 4 days Sherlock. The doctors say it isn't likely he ever will. You need to go. If anything happens, I'll be-"

"No, I'm staying right here."

"Sherlock…."

"No!"

"SHERLOCK!"

OoOoOoOoO

"_Harry. This is your new brother, John." my mother says pulling the boy from behind her._

"_What's wrong with him? He looks like he was hit by a car." I say staring at him._

"_Harry! Don't be rude!" _

"_But he does…" I answer pointing at him. "The bandage on his face makes him look like a mummy."_

"_Harriet!" she says scolding me "You be nice to him. I am going out so promise you will be nice to him." She glares at me._

"_Fine…" I mutter. She leaves and I am alone with __**it.**__ "Don't you think that just because she said I had to be nice you, that I will!" He flinches at my voice and I leave the room. A brother just what I need, a little annoying __**thing**__ to follow me around. Hmph…_

_-Knock. Knock.-_

"_What do you want?" I shout in his face as I open the door. Startled he jumps back at me and looks at me. "Well?!" He points. I look at him. _

"_What-do-you-want," I say again spiting out each word. He looks at me and points. Sighing I pull his arm and drag him towards the direction he was pointing to. I stop in the living room and say to him, "Where?" He points to the shelf. "You want something from there?" I ask. He nods. "Well, what?" I say. He points at the shelf again. "Can't you just talk?" I say. He looks at me. "Can you even talk?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Have you tried?" I ask. Another shake. _

OoOoOoOoO

'Pain. White searing pain near my shoulder. Shot? Was I shot again? Voices. Arguing. Why are people arguing? Is because of me? Why can't I move? Why? My body feels so heavy but I need to move I need to….move and wake…I-'

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

R&R!

1


	6. Daddy

**Chapter 6: Daddy**

A/N:

_Italics are flashbacks _and this is normal time.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Sherlock neither BBC's nor Sir Author Doyle's and am not making any profit by publishing this.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOo

One shot, one jump, one chance. Even if you'll know that you shall lose in the end its better to have one dead than two…

OoOoOoOoO

"_John! Harry! Come here," yells the woman._

_Two children come into view; one blonde boy with blue sparkling eye and one girl with brown long wavy hair. Both children are laughing as the run up to their mother._

"_Harry, John your father is coming to see you tomorrow," says the mom._

_The oldest child, in this case short Harry, says to her mom, "Does that mean we get to have a surprise party for him like we did last time mum?" she asks excitedly._

"_Father?" asks John curious._

"_He's our dad!" exclaims Harry. "And he's the best dad in the whole wide world!" she claps her together; "Whenever he comes we get to play games and eat! Lots and lots of food! He lets me ride on his back and we play cowboys and everything! You'll see John! Father is the best!"_

_The small boy nodded and he and the girl began getting ready to leave._

OoOoOoOoO

Two different people met one day. A tall lanky detective who lacked common courtesy who had forgotten how to care and one short army doctor lost and shattered from the war with a psychotic limp. These two men oh so different came to share a flat. The tall gave the much shorter man a reason to live. Gave him the excitement and adrenalinethat he needed. These two people so different came to trust each other with confidence. Soon the two were inseparable. The tall needed the short for his health and company and the short needed the tall one for adventure and sanity. Of course, there was the constant bickering over the experiments, the girls who never make it past the first date and the fact that eating was a necessity not a luxury.

But this was how the two liked it. They needed each other like it or not. So the friendship grew with more criminals and crime solved and many "I'm bored give me your gun. No, because you'll shot the wall," days. But what each knew but wouldn't admit was that if the other was in danger they would gladly put their life on the line and anyways why would think of that it was _highly_ unlike for that to happen. Wasn't it?

OoOoOoOoO

"_Daddy!" she shouts running over to hug the older man. He smiles at her and hugs her tight. _

"_How's my little angel been?" he asks. _

"_Great daddy just great! Look we have a surprise!" Harry says dragging John from behind Mum._

"_How's this?" he says._

"_He's our little brother Daddy!" she replies._

"_What the bloody hell do you mean brother?!" he yells. "This little snobby brat is not my son. He's not. And look at him! There is no possible way he can be my son!" _

_John flinches and takes a step back whimpering, his blue eyes wide with fear.._

"_T-that's because Mum adopted him," whispers Harry hugging John._

"_Harry, John. Go to your room. Daddy and me need to talk," she whispers to the children. Harry nods and she and John go up the stairs together._

"_Explain this so called son of mine now."_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOo

Sorry for the late update…R&R!

2


	7. Nightmares

**Chapter 7: Nightmares**

**A/N:**

_Italics are flashback. _This is normal time.

Sorry for the delay but I was having trouble writingbut its summer so I'll update weekly at the latest.

I don't own Sherlock and am not making profit. But John could be mine if he asked. ; )

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOo

"_You freak!" she spat. _

_Whimpering I attempt to back up even farther into my corner. My head goes sharply up as she pulls my hair up and lifts me so I am staring at her._

"_You dare look at me in the eye!" she yells slapping my face. "Look down!" I cast my eyes down how I could forget. Whack! She shoves me up against the wall. My head takes the impact and I feel the sensation of blood trickling down the back of my head. Light headed and dizzy, I try to remove her hand from my throat. She raises her arms and beats pushing me against the wall before finally dropping and kicking me in the ribs. I curl up into a ball, tears streaming down my face._

_Then she comes back. Puzzled, I attempt to back up but the same thing happens again and again._

"_Freak! Freak! Freak!"_

_Smash. _

_Blood._

_No, stop. Please. I-I'm sorry. It hurts. Please, stop._

"_Freak!"_

"_John!"_

_John? John! That's me! Help! Wait-is this real?_

_Yes, there's blood, my blood. _

"_John!"_

_Wak-_

_Gasping I sit up. My damp blonde hair covering my face. I taking raged breaths and put my head on my knees._

"_John? Are you alright?" says Harry._

_Oh, Harry was the one calling my name in my dream? No, it wasn't a dream it was a- well there's another word for it. Nightmare. _

_~Harry's POV~_

_I was woken up by the crashing of something against the wall next to my room. When I entered I saw John trashing around in his bed whimpering. A nightmare. I tried calling out his name but he didn't wake up. He was trashing more wildly. I shook him harder saying John over and over like a martyr. He finally awoke his breaths coming out ragged and his eyes looking about wildly. He started shaking and folded up his knees around him, his deemed favorite position to be in. Hesitantly, I said his name again, "John?" He looked up and I could see his eyes full of fear. I climbed into his bed and sat next to him. He flinched but he didn't move away. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him and he slowly relaxed, putting his head on my shoulder as I patted his head. Silent tears were running down his cheeks._

OoOoOoOoO

I sit still, waiting. He hasn't done anything in a week; coma and no signs of him waking up anytime soon. But, still I wait, he **will** wake up soon I just know it.

I woke up to the sound of the heart monitor going faster. Startled I look at John. His hand was clenching and unclenching rapidly.

"John," I say excitedly. I am hovering over his overcome with excitement. His eyes open slowly and I am practically on him. "John," I whisper with relief. He looks at me and-

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOo

(If you have time check my other stories..Thanks!)

Reviews will be used to make this story better and to motivate the author to write more.


End file.
